Grand Old Opry And Psychopaths

We took a vacation to Nashville Tennessee to celebrate my mom’s birthday, and my grandparent’s fiftieth anniversary. As I said before we live in Tennessee right on the border to Georgia. I am not sure where exactly. So I rode to Nashville. With a doomed teenage girl, and a power crazed psycho. Now that is a fun four hours. Okay, let me explain that statement (the first one about crazy psychos not the second one). My father goes crazy every time we drive long distances in cars. He starts acting like me and my sister are idiots, and has sudden flair ups of crazed yelling and wildness. There is no science to explain it and no medicine to cure it. Quite unfortunately. I should start a walk to end psycho-ness. But anyway whenever we are in the car he starts acting like a jerk. This jerkiness does not wear off for about three days after the car trip. And it never goes away if our grandparents are there. So it was not a good thing that our vacation was three and a half days long with our grandparents. This was going to be great. So we drive up in the car with psycho who as I suspected had the usual “you are dumb I am going to yell” attitude. It was quite obnoxious. Anyway, we finally got to Nashville. The hotel is stinking huge! I mean huge. Not big but huge. There is a giant arboretum, two gardens, a lake with a boat, three pools, and a bunch of restaurants. It pretty awesome. Here is a picture of the arboretum/garden. You cannot really see the whole thing. It is probably three times bigger than what the picture shows. This is a picture of a waterfall in the other garden. It is supposedly forty feet tall. So we walk and walk and walk and we still have not gone to all of them. It is just huge. Here is a picture of the garden. It’s pretty cool.

This next picture has no real relation to anything but I thought it was a nice picture.

 

So anyway, we finally finished walking through the whole thing. We now were going to go to the grand ole opry. It is pretty cool. So we were ready to leave and we walk outside into the hallway. There is this lady dressed holy cow nice with a fancy ball gown. Keep I mind we are all wearing polo shirts or something like that. So we all start freaking out because we do not want to be underdressed. When we get to the place where the shuttle takes us to the show everyone is dressed like us. Thus everyone relaxes. The bus is supposed to come at six o’clock. We got there about half an hour early so we are prepared to have some moderate wait. At five o’clock the bus does not come. It does not come for another twenty minutes. It is hot. We are standing outside. And my father is going through what I call the signage degree. He reads signs that everyone else read and then acts like an expert on the subject even though he knows nothing. It is funny when he does it to other people but miserable when I am in the presence of it. Take this example. We move to Tennessee and are there for the first time. Some of the ten year residents tell us that there is a stream. A couple of twenty year residents come out and talk. Psycho asks them if they knew there was a stream. Haha. Kind of funny. So when we finally get on the bus our whole family of six gets on the two first rows of seats. The handicap seats. The only handicap seats on the bus. And there are quite a few handicap people. They all glare at us. It was pretty interesting. So on to the drive. It takes ten seconds. It is literally less than half a mile away. They made all this hype and crap to make it seem like the freaking Appalachian Trail and it is like 300 feet. Idiots. So we get there and are going to be dropped off. I go to stand up just as he says “Be careful.” And whack my head on a television screen. So much for careful. So we walk into the place. I sit down in a seat that is the right row and number next to two fat people. I am seat three. Each fatty takes up 1.5 seats. I have not seat. Apparently I was in the wrong section. So my dad starts yelling. I get up and go look at the other seat with the same number and row. I laugh, “that’s the same row and number as mine.” Now comes the interesting part. “Shut up and get you @$$ in that seat!!!” he yells. What did I say about psycho? The show was great. When it was over we walked back to the hotel. Nothing happened. We tried to find something to do. We couldn’t. So we went back to the hotel room and went to bed. We turned out the lights and everyone scrambled around trying to get into bed without dying. I was sleeping on the floor without out a pillow because I hurt my back. So helpful psycho asks I have a pillow and throws me one. I throw it back. Then the Psycho Man kicks in and he hurls the pillow into the window screaming all the way. If it had been a little over it would have broken the window. He still managed to do some damage though. Take a look. There is some considerable damage to the window pane.

I hate writing conclusions. Anyway go see the Grand Ole Opry. It is awesome. I will post some more tomorrow morning. See ya.

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One Response to Grand Old Opry And Psychopaths

  1. old mama says:

    Awesome account of a trip. But I don’t see damage on the window. I really like this.

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