Vacation Recap And Lots Of Iditos

Well here is my post about idiots, waterfalls, and screaming.  Of course there are going to be idiots.  This is Beorngard.  And since we are on vacation there are waterfalls.  And when I am around there are usually screaming people.  So we went on vacation to a lake in one of the Carolinas.  It is a pretty cool lake.  It was the secluded private lake around tennish years ago.  But now there are a lot of people.  We are in a cove called peaceful cove.  The only problem is that we are jammed in here with two other houses that I could literally… um crap, literately what?  You get the point.  The houses are close. So we are driving up.  It takes about forty minutes to get to the nearest town.  And the whole way is nothing but twisty turny roads.  Get a person to draw three S’s with their mouth.  Then connect them and you have what the road looks like.  Times about ten depending on how talented your mouth artist is.  Back to driving.  We are on this road for thirty minutes.  Every single road sign has about twenty bullet holes.  That sounds fun.  So everyone is nauseas because of the road and everyone is freaked out because of the bullet holes.  Fun.  We get to the house.  The driveway is probably about a fifty degree slant up.  There is a warning on the house about how if you can’t drive up get a driving start as far back as you can.  Fortunately we can get up alright.  The house is really cool.  There is a nice view.   Here is a picture.


The dock has boats. Yay.  Our grandparents get there late.  And we ate dinner relax and then go to bed.

On to the next day.  So we wake up and decide to rent a boat.  We rent it from the first idiot of the vacation.  Mister Fatty Indian.  It is a pontoon boat.  Twenty feet.  When we are getting the rundown Mister Fatty Indian earns his idiot stripe.  “Here are the keys” he says.  Then his face clouds over and he becomes all serious.  “They NEVER leave the boat” he growls.  Why not just leave the boat running?

So we go out on the boat.  There is supposedly a waterfall somewhere in the lake.  So we went to try to find it.  We pulled into the cove that supposedly had the waterfall.  There is a trail in the corner.  We all agreed that this was most definitely it.  We start walking.  And walking, and walking.  And walking for over an hour.  With no waterfall.  So the decision of the idiot family is to go back. For another freaking hour.

Now here is something fun.  Take a hot dog.  Give it two hundred legs.  Make it walk around.  Make three of them.





Need I say more?

Now onto the second honorable idiot.  The guy who puts his old gum into your drink.  And then doesn’t say anything when you drink it.  Yeah. Idiot.


Next day.

We found the waterfall.  I forgot my camera so I have no pictures. Dang.  So we have our group of idiots. The gay appearing all men kayak group.  They are pretty funny.  “Oh my gawd I love your sandals.  We were wondering how you hike in them.”  Pretty funny.  So we saw the waterfall.  It was about seventy feet with plateaus in the middle.  We stood almost at the top.  The water was absolutely freezing.  About fifty degrees.  There was a chair carved out behind the waterfall.  You could sit in it and not get pummeled with water.



We went white water rafting yesterday.  The water there was even colder.  I am not going to elaborate because I have been writing for about an hour and I am now bored.  There was another idiot but I am not sure how to write about her.


So on to last night.  I was going to sleep in a tent. This is probably not the best idea.  So I got the tent, a sleeping bag, an extra blanket, and a pillow.  And a six inch knife and Billy club.  Cheers.

I made it through the night.

That’s all for now.  I will be back soon with more detail and interesting things.

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1 Response to Vacation Recap And Lots Of Iditos

  1. old mama says:

    how bout’ that idiot who hiked 10miles on the applacian trail, climed behind waterfalls, white water rafted alone and had nary a scratch on his body.
    THEN he comes up the stairs in the house and pulls off a toe on the riser. So they are all around us and we can’t escape.

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